That’s the word rolling around in my head today … along with a wicked sinus infection. (Whoever says that stress doesn’t make us more susceptible to illness is wrong!) So because I am hurting, maybe the word hurts me a little more than it should. It also hurts because I’m the one in the family who has always been especially conscious of making the healthiest possible choices. And yet that’s what we were told yesterday. I am uninsurable. Truth is I knew this was the case. Hubs was in denial, and wouldn’t believe me … but now we know for sure that it’s true.

Why does this matter? I mean, don’t we have jobs that give us health care? Well actually, no we don’t. I am self-employed, and not really interested in closing down my thriving business even if I thought I could get a job in my 10-years-ago field of expertise. And the industry I currently work in isn’t known for providing benefits – most people working for someone else are independent contractors. And my husband joined the ranks of unemployment in April. He’s been searching for another position diligently, but it’s been a struggle (and that’s a whole other blog post!). So if he doesn’t find something and start working within the next few weeks, we will be uninsured starting in January 2013 when our COBRA runs out.

Because I know you’re wondering, we have a state-sponsored COBRA plan instead of the Federal COBRA. His last employer was too small to be required to offer the Federal 18-month plan. And frankly, we are lucky to have this at all. All $1500 per month of it … ugh.

Knowing all this, we’ve been doing some research and applying for individual plans. The insurance company will call Hubs and ask him a lot of questions about his medical history. But they don’t want to interview me. He kept saying “it’s because you told them what they need to know …” And I reply, “Yes, that I have RA and they know they are going to deny me.” And he kept floating on that river in Egypt .. da Nile.

Then Tuesday night a friend (who also has a pre-existing condition) gave us the name of her insurance broker. It’s the conversation with him that put “uninsurable” on the table. He says there’s a plan with “guaranteed acceptance” that will take me. But will we be able to afford it? Will the job interview Hubs has next week pan out for us? What comes next …?? These are pins and needles I can do without … thank you very much. So cross your fingers for me and all the other uninsurable people out there.

<<political warning>> And please please please remember that voting for state and national politicians who support Affordable Health Care is one of the ways you can do something good for those of us with uninsurable illnesses we did nothing to cause based on our lifestyle.